by Gurani Anjali
On Fathers and Forgiveness
Today is Father’s Day. All of you who had wonderful fathers can think of them today. And those of you who had fathers who were not too intelligent forgive them today. To forgive is very important. Forgive yourself too, for thinking negative thoughts about your father. There are so many fathers in the world and so many mothers. Some are intelligent and some are not.
It is wonderful to have a father who is caring and guiding; who is strong, not only in body, but also in word and mind; who does away with rigid rights and wrongs, yet watches a child grow up and guides the child carefully—carefully toward his or her higher consciousness. He carefully guides the child not only to be great in the world, but also to be great in himself, in herself—for the Self.
The love of the Mahapurusha (God Consciousness) should be of paramount importance in everyone’s heart. The heart is a very important place. In the heart there is a cave—a slight opening. And in that slight opening, your true love waits—the Mahapurusha. We ought to consider that dimension of life all day long.
The everyday world is visible to the eyes, so we keep looking at all the things in front of us. We look at forms and colors, and we look at the changes that come into our lives through those form and colors. But forms and colors are only the expressions of life, and the expressions come and go. We ought to go within the inner chambers of our hearts and remember God consciousness constantly, because it is for the sake of the Mahapurusha that we are. We are here to express the silence, tranquility, the One without a second. We are here to express that.
But we get caught up in worldly affairs, and we treat worldly affairs as if they are eternal. In one sense karmic evolution is eternal, because cause and effect and action and reaction form the fabric of our existence. Whatever a man or a woman does continues the wheel of life. The constant going and coming, the constant taking and giving, the constant action and reaction is never ending.
Nonetheless, we must keep in mind that whatever we do is for the Mahapurusha and with the Mahapurusha. You see, we walk along with the Mahapurusha. God is not external to us. We are not creatures of some external deity. We are partners in this great life. And we must come to this realization and hold it very dear to us. Then we can change the world, and that begins with changing ourselves.
We must change. Thus, forgiving the fathers who were not spiritually intelligent is very important to do. But don’t just forgive them; forgive yourself for feeling hurt. Feeling your hurt is something you do every day. After you have forgiven yourself for feeling that hurt. Feeling your hurt is something you do every day. After you have forgiven yourself for having thoughts about how bad your father was, you realized that you hurt yourself by thinking those negative thoughts. So today is a great day to begin forgiving your father. Then stand up for yourself and walk alongside the great Consciousness. Walk with God. Walk with the great Consciousness.
Everything is subject to change, and you create changes. So watch your actions and reactions. In that watching lies your life, and the movement of cause and effect. Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers also.
We are blessed because our parent gave us entry into this world. For this reason alone, we ought to thank our parents who gave us life. Mother and father give temporal life, but the guru (spiritual guide) gives you entry into eternity. You go through several stages until you are finally liberated. A person may ask, “Well, how will I know when I am liberated?” When doubt doesn’t arise anymore and when fear has dissipated—then you will know. Then you will be walking alongside the great One, daily—communing with it. You will never feel lonely, nor like you need somebody, because you will already have that Somebody who is very, very important, And fear will disappear. Once the fear goes, the anger disappears, and all kinds of jittery feelings dissipate. You will be home at last.
We wander through this world in our ignorant state, looking for home. “I want to have a home. I want to have the feeling that I am home. I want to have somebody. I want to create a family.” All of these things are very important to have in the physical world. But you can have more than that. You can have the physical world, and you can also live a truly spiritual life. But a spiritual life must be cultivated. Your understanding of what you have has to be cultivated. And then you will see all that you have and you will live. Om shanti (peace).
On Choosing the One
This life is a journey, so always be prepared and alert. The journey won’t take long. It just takes a decision. But it is always difficult to make that decision. Once the decision is made, however, you can rest and say, “It’s done.” You make decisions every day. You go into the closet and choose what to wear. You look and look and look, until you make the decision: “Ah, I’ll take this.” And then all the other garments in the closet become nonexistent. In that moment they don’t exist for you anymore. You just picked that one thing you are going to wear. There is such a comfort in that. Next you are putting it on, and you’re getting ready fast. We have to make the decision. We have to choose the one in the many. So you see, we are always ready for the One. Even in the closet out of all the many, many garments, you have to pick the one—signifying the One in the many.
If you look at all your life like that, you will see how you are guided to pick the One, the One in the many. When shopping you do the same thing. You look and look and look and see hundreds of objects, until you pick one. Or you walk away and you are haunted with indecision, and you go back to the store and say, “Let me try again; maybe there’s a sale.” You’re always picking the one. The One in the many—in everything we do. You are always going after the One. Some know it, are totally in love with it, and some don’t know. Yet everyone gets the same treatment. The sun shines on everyone: the ugly, the ignorant, the intelligent, the birds, the trees, the insects, the earth. The sun shines on all.
Everyone is going after the One, no matter where they are. So watch it in the future. When you pick that one, you are happy and comfortable. You feel relaxed. Even in finding a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you look at all the faces to see which one fits with you. You look and look and look and then pick one. You pick one. You’ve got to pick One. Sure, with your eyes, you can look at everything, but you cannot have it all. So go after that One, that mighty One, that great One. Sometimes you cannot afford that One, because that One is too great. You’ve got to pay a high price for That. You might not have enough for that One. So you have to wait until you have enough. Om shanti.
On Letting Go from the Heart
Samskaras (impressions) are something like a scar. They are scars in the mind that are created and maintained with thought. The physical body can go through many, many injuries, but it heals and we forget the pain. But the mind holds mental scars. So we have vrittis (thoughts) of a negative kind. These negative vrittis must be eliminated. One has to let go in order to forgive and forget. Letting go is hard. But if one wants peace in one’s life—santosha—then the negative vrittis in the mind must be replaced. They must be washed away through the fire of tapas (difficult actions undertaken for the purpose of purification).
You continue to hold onto past experiences that were painful. And the more you think of the past, the more depressed you feel. You may try to feel happy. You may try to feel great. You may get involved in all kinds of worldly distractions to help you forget your pain. But you don’t forget; you remember. So you have to let go from the heart. It is in the heart, through the heart, that those sentiments from the past are aroused and brought to the mind. Through the heart the pain lingers on and on, and you become depressed. So let go from the heart. It’s a decision you can make. Everything is a decision. You have to start with the decision to let go, and then everything will begin to change. Samskaras will bum out. They will. But at any given moment, you can call them back again. You may be bored without them, because you have nothing to pine over and cry over and complain about. “Come back, come back,” you may say. You can easily bring those samskaras back—that is, until there is final liberation. When vairagam (dispassion) is established, then there is no turning back. Then there is eternal life. Om shanti.
On a Whispered Teaching
We can speak to the Mahapurusha. We can talk. We can converse. You can raise your voice to the Mahapurusha. You can show the Mahapurusha that you have tremendous unrest.
If the Mahapurusha is close to you and you’re walking together like two friends, you can speak to your Friend. You can let out your frustrations; and ask the Mahapurusha, “How long can you silent be, when I am suffering so!” And tears may fall like rain. You can show the Mahapurusha all that. You can say, “Oh Mahapurusha, look at my tears, they’re falling like rain, disappearing into the earth. How long will you silent be? “
The Mahapurusha says, “Everyone is talking around you—telling you where it is at and what you should do and how you should speak—and you’re not listening. So if I started talking, you wouldn’t listen to me either.” So the Mahapurusha becomes like a stone—as hard as a rock. So you’ve got to penetrate that, you’ve got to penetrate that silence. It’s a unique quality of the Mahapurusha, and it is felt everywhere. Some know it and some don’t. But you can sit in front of the Mahapurusha and call to Agni (sacred flame; fire of Consciousness) and say, “Agni, you’re my witness. I am here daily, doing puja (worship). I’m offering flowers, feeding ghee (clarified butter) to you everyday. Since I feed you ghee every day, you are my witness, Oh Agni, speak to the Mahapurusha for me.”
Everything you want to tell to someone or other—those who can’t give you the right time of the day, anyway—tell to the Mahapurusha instead. Start talking. Raise your voice and ask the Mahapurusha to raise Its voice, so you can hear. And you will get glimpses; you will get some answers along the way, but only if it is absolutely necessary. Yes, the Mahapurusha is very hard to reach. It’s like trying to get a mate in life. You have to give the best—like an expensive diamond ring, or maybe more. It depends on the quality of the mate, the greater the intelligence, the greater the ability, the higher the price. And the Mahapurusha’s price is very, very high. The Mahapurusha seems to be umnanifest, but you always feel like someone is watching you, pushing you. You always feel that someone is there beside you. That is the Mahapurusha playing hide-and-seek. It won’t let you get near until you can get near. Until you can! So you have to treat the Mahapurusha as a great lover. And nothing else but an embrace from the Mahapurusha will do. Nothing else will suffice.
It is satisfying sometimes to be alone with the flame, Agni, away from all distractions. The Mahapurusha can then have your undivided attention. In our human condition we tend to be very fickle. For example, we get irritated and distracted when a mosquito bites us. It is only a little mosquito, but its sting can make us crazy. So we have to be in a place where we are not distracted. Mahapurusha must have our undivided attention; only then will things begin to happen. “I know that you are watching me. In the silence you are watching me. “Yes, I’ll dance. Yes I’ll dance. Yes, I’ll dance this dance for you alone.” The dance is the dance of karma—the dance of action and reaction. The dance of the human condition is this dance. The dance of life. “So I’ll dance with you alone,” because I know you are watching. So I’m going to put on a good show. Because I know you are watching me. In the silence you are watching me.
Sometimes life exhilarates us to such a degree that we feel elated and great. At those times it is the great embrace that we feel. Sometimes we feel such joy in human existence that we get caught up in it. But the minute we get caught up, we know it is going to end. So the joy becomes pain. Because it is going to end, it becomes painful. This pain we bear. So we strive after human associations, and we look for human affection. Human affection is a glimpse of the universal embrace of the Mahapurusha. It’s only a glimpse. But that glimpse is so great that we’d die for it sometimes, do anything to have it. And then something unpleasant occurs, and we are brought to our senses, and the joy becomes the pain we bear. Om shanti.
On the Rta, the Movement of Life
In this world of cause and effect and action and reaction, the only thing that is important is the rhythm of life, and the continuity of this existence. Cause and effect; cause and effect— the rhythm goes on and on and on. So the conscious yogi, the conscious person on the path, must remember the continuity of every action and reaction, and the consequences of everything that one does. The consequences and the continuity—these two words you must remember. What you do and what you say affects another. So be responsible for that. Every day we get up and do the same thing. By chance something unexpected may happen during the day; you may meet with a surprise. This breaks the monotony of the day, and it gives you something special to look into. It makes your day. We do want everything to be perfect; and we try so hard to make things perfect, from morning until night. But the imperfections of life are its perfection. Some things that you do everyday are monotonous—like brushing your teeth. You do it every single day for a reason: if you didn’t brush your teeth, they would rot and you would get gum disease. So everything has an effect and we are caught up in the chain of life. We’re caught. And we cannot help but act. We have to carry on.
We are brought up to think that we must have, and we must get, and we must get more, and we must have more. This is the training we receive. This is a conditioning that has been handed down from generation to generation. Not everything has been taught to you verbally. A lot is embodied through action and reaction, in the silent movement of life. So there is that feeling of bondage, of being driven. We have been conditioned to have more, to be careful, to protect ourselves, to make sure we have, to make sure we get. Get what? The more one gets, the more one wants, and it is never ending. It becomes gluttony. Then one begins to see and asks, “What have I done?”
In the spiritual life one is taught to give, to give, to continually give. Offer up. Give. That’s spiritual training—to keep giving and to practice aparigraha (non-attachment). Practice ahimsa (nonviolence). The physical practice is only a small part of it. The internal practice is what is most necessary. Practice aparigraha internally. If you internalize the practice, the external practice will naturally follow. It is our nature to be non-violent; our true nature to be selfless and giving. This is our true nature—to live a sattvic (pure) life. We don’t like any dirt around us. We won’t eat out of a dirty cup or plate. We make sure our forks and spoons are clean, that our food is washed in water before we cook it. You see how sattvic our nature is. We will not do anything that is not in our nature. All this shows us that our true nature is pure. Nothing that is soiled must enter this body. And if by chance, you manage to swallow something that is not clean, your body and your thoughts rebel. The stomach has pains: indigestion or nausea is experienced. If you eat something unclean, it affects you.
Ahimsa is an important part of life. We have to practice that because we have been conditioned for generations to keep, to have. But our true nature is the opposite. Our true nature is to give, to be kind, to be generous, to be non-violent, to be selfless. Selfless does not mean allowing yourself to be abused. You must use your discrimination. Know when you are being abused. Don’t just go off into the street and say, “I’m very giving. Here take this, take this.” Don’t do that. Lead a spiritual life. Use your intelligence. Use the power of discrimination. Know who you are, speaking through your senses. Scan everything around you and know that you’re going to lead a spiritual life. Those that come in front of you will get a glimpse of that.
“So I’ll dance, yes, I’ll dance, yes I’ll dance this dance for you alone.” Samskaras are like scars in the mind, held by the vrittis of past experiences—negative experiences. But the experiences that are pleasant and spiritual don’t hurt. They don’t cause you unrest. Why do negative experiences cause unrest? Because you are sattvic. Because your nature is pure, and there is something impure that is causing you unrest. Let your dance be a dance for life; to continue the rta (the movement of life) and to allow life to come through you. Become like the river, flowing into the ocean, the ocean of Consciousness. Every woman can be a mother, even if she hasn’t borne any children. And every man can be a father, even if he has no children of his own. Mothering means to care, to nurture, to feed, to clothe, to be kind, to be mindful, to be a strong support. Mothering and fathering are the same thing. You don’t have to be a father bringing your own children into the world. You can be a father to many, even if you didn’t have any children. The love, the care, the watchfulness, the guidance—all that giving is fathering. All that is mothering. To be a father one has to have knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. To be a mother one has to have knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. Knowing and giving; walking alongside the Great One—this is the way of spiritual life. Om shanti.