by Gurani Anjali
Suffering, Freedom, and Aparigraha (non-possessiveness or non attachment)
It takes a long time to become pure. It takes a long, long time. But we have to go through the fire of circumstance, of suffering. We have to feel it. We have to know how it tickles us, and we have to feel how it bums us. And we will also come to the realization through the suffering and the burning that a thing in itself does not exist. So when you are suffering, don’t think you are suffering by yourself. The whole world is suffering with you, like your friends, your children; your relatives, your mother, your father. Everyone is suffering.
And then, when you are free, oooh! That is a great day. That’s a great day for merriment and giving thanks, because everyone becomes free then. Everyone feels the lightening of the burden, the pain, the suffering. Ah! So great! It’s like being in a hospital and then being released. When a child comes in sick, the parents come in with the suffering child. Then follows the doctors and nurses, and all those tubes and injections. Everyone is saying “Oh, poor thing. I hope she gets well.” And everybody is crying and has their fingers crossed. Their hearts are beating quickly. Finally, the patient is cured, the bills are paid, and everyone is happy.
It could be, though, that the patient doesn’t learn from that suffering and the people around don’t learn. The suffering comes back and with that coming back there is more pain. It comes back, double, it comes back worse. And so we have to go through the fire, the fire of suffering, the struggle. But it doesn’t last forever. It gives everybody a little jolt. Listen, you have to go through the fire too. You have to eventually come to grips with yourself and really embody the meaning of aparigraha -nonattachment, detachment. You come alone into this world and go alone. You cannot take anyone with you. Furthermore, you cannot really, really depend on anyone. The only things to depend upon are knowledge and wisdom, because they will see you through. Depending upon another human being or another thing in front of you is subject to change. At any given time he or she is going to get up and walk away.
Eventually, through the fire of suffering, the true meaning of aparigraha comes and you begin to see that at the end you have to learn to make friends with yourself. You have to see yourself as you truly a.re and accept it. This I am. This I am. Fragile! This I am, caught in the midst of circumstances. This I am, coming from nowhere into this place where I am, going nowhere. This I am.
We have to come to grips with that. Through it, we come to see how important aparigraha is. And when we begin to see that we begin to truly give. Give. Not just giving so that we can get back a compliment, but for the sake of purification, to empty ourselves. To empty all the things we have around us. It is like baking a pie and giving it to someone, or when you buy someone a shirt or dress, a pen or a pencil. You keep on giving, giving, until you have given everything and you feel exhausted from the giving up of things. Then comes the next stage of giving. You give up aggressiveness, you give up aversion, you give up hate, you give up anger, you give u p possessiveness. You give up, “I have to have it my way or else.” This giving up is of a different nature. It is a gradual movement.
Giving up anger is a very hard thing to do. A lot of people are very angry people. I hope you are not that. Are you angry? Who’s angry? “I’m angry at the world. They all did me in. They all did me wrong. My mother let me down, my father let me down, my sister. He won’t do this, she won’t do that. Me, me. I am angry. I’m angry at the world.” You have to give up that anger, you see, after the giving up of things has been exhausted. With this a certain emotional stickiness also comes to an end. Then what do you have? Then you have love. Pure love which says, “I love you no matter how you a.re.”
You have to give up those icky, sticky, gummy states you live through, that keep your world of neurosis alive. Once that is all done, you have nothing but love. And you say, “So what! I’ll walk another mile! I’ll give another hug! I’ll give another plate of food!” After the sticky, gummy affairs are over, you can say that you see. But then, you see even more. You see that it is very hard, because your tentacles, your ego, is stuck in the gum. You know you’re stuck in it. You cannot get out of it. Your ten takes are stuck in it, your senses are stuck. Those sticky affairs won’t Jet us live, won’t let us be in the moment or let us say “I love you” and truly mean it Hence, we need aparigraha. It was with good reason that Patanjali taught aparigraha. It is a very beautiful discipline.
There is another part of this sticky, gummy affair that causes one to say, “Why should I care anymore? Everything is subject to change, so why should I bother? I’ll just give up.” So you get into a worse affair. It’s like Crazy Glue! That’s a real hard mess to come out from. Just because the flower is going to change, doesn’t mean I’m not going to enjoy its beauty while it is. But see how pretty they are, these flowers on the havan (altar). Just because they are going to decay and die does not mean I’m not going to honor and worship them while they last, and look upon t hem with affection. This we must do. They are subject to change, and they will go. But they will be transformed. The mind that is not yet alive and aware does not see the stages of transformation. We see flowers wither and die and the petals fall off. We take them and throw them into the garbage. But during the process many of us are not seeing. We don’t care about what’s happening and we don’t care that we do not see. But even though we don’t care and we don’t see the transformation, i t is taking place. The power of life continues. The transformation is taking place. Nothing is wasted. Everything is becoming.
The culmination of all these states and transformations is existence, knowledge and bliss. So cultivate thoughts like, “This I did not know. This I will find out. Therefore, I will do my sadhana ,”(practice or means). To know it with the mind and to hear it from the wise that you are existence, knowledge and bliss is not sufficient. This must become an embodied fact, that you are existence, you are knowledge, you are bliss. Om Shanti.
Sit up straight please. (The Guraryi then leads in the chanting of 0M, followed by the Brahma Mantra, the Devi Mantra, and the Gayatri Mantra. This is followed by the chanting of Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti and the song Yoga Path.)
YOGA PATH*
As I walk in the Yoga path
I think of those who paved the way
They sought after truth, and rent the veil
The veil that is called Maya
CHORUS:
Yoga will guide me, Yoga will yoke me I want to know the Truth
I must be patient
I must be humble
Its journey won’t be long
I’ll think of those lives who paved the way
Their tears, their patience, their misery
And in humbleness, I’ll say Namaste
They paved the way for me
CHORUS
The veil of Maya
The veil I can’t see Blinds me from Reality
Slowly and gently, the veil will be rent and I will know reality
CHORUS
(The song I’ll Remember was then sung.)
I’LL REMEMBER*
Confusion all around
Expeditions all in vain
Explanations do not answer
All the questions of the mind
–So I say–
Go to the wise and mighty sages
Read those golden pages
What would my life be without
Those men of bygone years
My heart will not despair
My courage will not fail
I’ll remember them today
I’ll remember them and meet
The challenges each day
Obstacles that must not stay
As I live each day
I will give to each and every day
Yes, the noble path It’s the eightfold path
It’s my strong support It’s my heart’s delight
It’s my mother and my father
It’s my brother and my friend
As I live each day
I will give to each day my very best
Namaste my friend
Come along with me
Don’t look back my friend
I’ll hold your hand in mine
Samskaras they’ll bum out
As we ignite each other’s flame
We’ll be upholding the dignity of man.
*Words and music copyright 1981 by Gurani Anjali
The Myth of Dependence, The Truth of Interdependence
In today’s life there is much confusion, especially with the changes in lifestyle. When we go back to generations before this one, we see such a contrast, such a difference, but the difference is only in lifestyle. The essential underlying unity of all human existence is the need to be. This requires that one cooperate and be so that one may survive through the other. This is the underlying current.
However, the lifestyle of today is very, very different from the lifestyle of three or four generations ago. There is much confusion and pain. The call for today’s society is to be independent. This is such a hard thing to accomplish. To be independent means to stand alone. According to the wisdom of those who know, this is not possible. This cannot be. So, one ought to practice another way. Instead of striving for independent living, one has to learn the art of interdependence. Interdependence. This creates the importance of the other in our lives. Interdependence. This means waiting on the other for your survival. On the contrary, the call in today’s society is, “I know everything, I am independent.” Because of this, the poor and innocent suffer a great deal.
Four or five generations ago, the elders were very much respected. Today there are no elders. The youth of today are saying, “I’m an adult! I’m independent! Treat me like an adult!” And they look at their parents- who truly are adults–and they say this, not for a moment realizing they are facing a true adult. Because of this, young people are suffering very badly. The elders are suffering also because they are baffled and do not know what to do.
This is part of a new movement going on. It is a universal change occurring. All of us had better wake up to the reality that this is the case. All of you sitting here walked out of home years ago. ”I’m seventeen, I’m eighteen. I’ve got to go out now, I’ve got to do it on my own. I have to do my thing. I have to do rock music. I have to dance, I have to shake, I have to show the world I’m here. Look at me , look at me!” All of you walked out; some of you were told to leave, were told, “Get out of here!” But you left, nevertheless!
When I sit at home in meditation by myself, I consider the affairs of the world. I have to do this on a regular basis to see the conditions in the universe, not only here in Yoga Anand Ashram. This is a microscopic affair happening here, but it is part of a global change. There is a world call now for independence, even in the home. Today, when a man gets married , he wants his wife to stay home and take care of his kids while he goes out to play. He wants his independence. But this is the modern age, and his wife replies, “If you go out tonight, I’ll go out tomorrow night.” This is happening. It’s really an epidemic. Even in a beautifully sustained home, all of a sudden the wife gets up one night and says, “I want to be your friend. Sure, you can make love to me, you can do everything you want, but I just want to be your friend. I still want to go out with other men.”
This is happening in today’s life. Oooh! That’s going through the fire! What does a husband do with that type of woman! “Sure, I’ll lie in bed with you and I’ll do whatever you want me to do, but I’m still just your friend, and I want you to know that. I want my independence back. I don’t want to stay home with two kids and look at four walls. I cook and slave after you. While I’m still young I want to experience my sensual gratifications. I need them.”
The husband turns to the wife and says, “Haven’t I massaged you enough? You did bear kids from me! Didn’t you get enough?” And she replies, “No, I’m young, I need more.” Oooh! They are going through the fire. That’s real hell! Independence!
In today ‘s life one has to learn the art, the science, and the philosophy of interdependence. I need you and you need me. Give to me and I will give to you. Forget about independence. It is a fantasy. You are always needing someone. You need a boss to pay you the paycheck. You need your car to drive. You need the government because this is an ordered society. You need that.
You need your family to support you when you are down and out, when no one cares about you. If your friends have left you and gone, you need you r family. It’s survival. You cannot say then, “I’m an adult!” What does that mean? The notion of independence is a cultural fantasy. Hence, the art of interdependence must be cultivated. “I need you my sister, so I can talk to you about the inner depths of my feelings. 1 need you my brother, because you are a man in my presence, and you were born and formed from the same belly. I need you.” Let your brother know you need him and let your sister know you need her. You have to let your mother know you need her. You have to let your father know you need him.
The art of interdependence is a science, it is a philosophy . It is something that is much neglected. There is a lot of suffering in the world. We live here in our own little cubicle and think everything’s running fine, life’s just cozy. But look closer. There is mass confusion all over the world, not just in this microscopic affair called Amityville and Yoga Anand Ashram . Suffering is everywhere.
Women had better wake up. Women have been bogged down for so many years. They have heard from their great grandparents and especially their grandmothers and mothers how hard it is to be a woman. They hear again and again how hard it is to take care of the kids all the time. So now, the modern woman says, “I’m not going to do what my great grandmother did: stay home and just crochet and knit!” Women have become very angry.
But remember the grandmothers of years gone by. It was so nice to cuddle up next to your grandmother. She always made you feel secure. My granddaughter still comes to me and cuddles up with me, because she knows that I’m not going to say, “You’re too heavy! Get out of here!” She knows that no matter how much she jumps and pulls at me, she is the one who needs help to survive. I have grown and I know the way of the world. She doesn’t know this as yet, so I am here for her.
Christ said, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” See the difference between what is the real and what is the unreal. See the difference, and then act. You have to act because through our actions the world becomes alive. Worlds are born out of our actions. What we do is important, more so than what we think. This interdependence is so important, and so neglected.
Interdependence is very, very vital. The little plant you might have sitting in your room needs water to survive. So you water it. From time to time, you have to tum it around and let it face the sun. During those times, you are giving that plant its existence. But at the same time you are needing that plant for its beauty. its presence. It is giving you a perspective through which you will come alive. It is breathing like you and like me. Interdependence. Everything has that nature. Without the other, there is no you.
The Problem of Negativity… Bring in the Positive!
A great deal of anger must me eliminated in order for one to see the significance of interdependence. Where does the one who is angry go? He or she gets more angry. Where does a person go who has hate? What happens to your anger or your hate? Instead of it going to where it’s supposed to go, it just turns back and comes into you. The result is chronic illness, an inability to cope with the circumstances one has. Inability to cope comes as a result of hate. So you have to forgive. You might not forget, but you can forgive. In order to forget, the third sutra of the second Pada of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra must be practiced. Come to the understanding of why the hate is there. It stems form the five klesas, the impurities of ignorance, egoism, attachment, aversion, and clinging to life– avidya, asmita, raga, dvesa, abhinivesa.
W hen you hate, whose fault is it? It’s nobody else’s fault; you’re the one who has the hate. Your hate is an inability to cope. You do not hate because someone is doing you wrong. You actually hate yourself for not being able to manage your own affairs. You hate because you cannot cope. Of course you’ll lash out at this one and scream at that one, and walk out on someone else. You might stay out all night, or even get drunk or open yourself up to abuse. Many people do this just to fight back. Bu t this is horrendous, this is stupid.
And in the end, what do you have? A tried body, a weak nervous system. The mind is in a fog. That’s what you have in return. Hence, the importance of interdependence must be stressed upon the mind of each one of us. This need is the order of life. It is a law in life, a natural law, so that one will live for the other. Through the aid of the other in your life, karmic evolution will take place and all negativities will be erased.
Why do you think we are confronted with the opposite? We are always facing something. Why ? Because we have to move it out of the way. The only way we can move the other out of the way so that we can be free is to pay the price. Every time someone comes and stands in front of you with a negative appearance or attitude, he is telling you or she is telling you “Come on, you owe me a debt! Come on, you are going to have to pay it today!” But we have an inability to cope with the other; the art of interdependence is not realized, so you get affected by the negative influences, you become tense. You walk away or become silent or you creep out out the room. But you cannot run away. That other is going to come up again and again and again until the debt is paid. It has to be finalized. It has to be erased.
The negative and the positive. If something has a positive appearance you welcome it. You welcome it in a pleasant manner. This is a karmically formed affair. But there is also the negative karmic affair, past impressions and expressions coming back in a negative way because you didn’t finalize them. The negative comes back in the appearance of moods. You know how rotten these moods are. They are like glue. The moods come and they cling to you and they get stuck to you because you have that negativity too.
You get affected, and you have to pay the price.
Don’t run away from it. Confront it, confront it! By first confronting it in yourself before you speak a word to the other person, you accept the fate. “Yes, I am feeling emotionally disturbed right now because of the appearance of that other individual in my life. I can’t stand this person ‘s guts. I wish he or she would go to Timbuktu.” This shows you have a debt to pay, just like the money lenders who come and say, “Come on, pay up.” These feelings will come over and over again until the affair is finalized. The slate must be wiped clean.
You know you have to pay your debt. You have to pay u p. Compared to credit cards, this kind of debt takes a lot more than money to pay. But you have to finalize these negativities, confront them. Stand up to them, not to fight, but to discriminate them away.
For this to take place, what should we do? There is a beautiful sutra that provides a solution. When a negative comes up, you have to replace it with a positive. Say to yourself in Sanskrit, “pratipaksa-bhavanam,” the cultivation of the opposite. When a negative influence is coming into your life and you feel the emotional stress of it, you have to replace all this with a positive influence. Smile, say, “Hello, how are you? Would you like a cup of tea? I know you are angry with me, but right now I would like to have a cup of tea. Would you like to have a cup of tea with me?” It takes a little doing, but you have to pay your debt. Because you owe this person something, you took this individual for granted in your life. You’ve got to pay up the debt and no amount of money is going to do it.
The negativity is embodied in the nervous system, and it has to be gotten out. So you practice pratipaksa-bhavanam; the cultivation of opposites. Try that for a change. Through it you develop the art of true living, and you realize the need for interdependence. “I need you.” Don’t be afraid to say that. “I need you.” Don’t be proud. Pride comes from the klesas: avidya, asmita, raga, dvesa, abhinivesa. That’s where pride comes from. It is very easy to say, “I need you, let’s stop playing all these games. I need you.” It’s very easy to do things after that.
Very well, what do you need? Usually people say they need money. Does a piece of paper solve your problem? No, it doesn’t. Once you get money, you cannot keep it. It goes away. Once you realize this, you won’t have any use for money any more, at least not like you used to. You will see it’s so great to have another life in front of you, a warm, vibrant being in front of you. This is better than a piece of paper, much better.
It is up to us to create a positive circumstance always. Therefore, we always have to use our intelligence and be on our toes. You have to be on guard, like a sword fencer. You have to be quick, be able to take out your sword of intelligence and say, “Come on, I’m here!” You have to be on the go all the time; you cannot take time off from life. Always try to bring in the positive.
Sometimes in the fire of circumstance there is a slip of the tongue. You may say something negative instead of something positive. In that case you must forgive yourself and say, “A slip of the tongue is no fault of the mind.” If anyone complains, explain that it was just a slip of the tongue and that you didn’t really mean to say it This does happen.
We’re always involved in circumstance and situation. Always give someone something that will raise that person to higher consciousness. Don’t encourage people with anything that will pull them down. Don’t even give them a dollar if you think they will abuse it Don’t do that Don’t give them anything if it’s going to bring them down, even though you may be dying to give it to them. Just say, “No, I love you too much.” If someone asks you for a dollar to buy cigarettes, distract them. I have all kinds of cloves and little chewables I carry in my purse, little spices of all kinds. If someone wants a smoke, I say, “Here, try one of this, try one of that.” Before long, the person says, “I don’t need a cigarette.” It takes a while, but the need disappears eventually.
Try not to encourage the weakness of another. There are two qualities in a human being, strength and weakness. If you keep encouraging the weakness, the weakness begins to get fat. Yes, fat! Then it takes from anyone it can get its hands on, with no concern for anything. Bu t if you bring out the strength, you can see how great that human being can become. Very, very great.
You have two qualities in you. You have power and weakness . You have courage and fear. They are always battling to see which one gets the upper hand, which one is going to be the winner. There’s always a game. “Let’s see which one is going to win out today, my weakness or my strength.” Encourage your strength, overcome your weakness and fear.
Respect, Honor and Reverence
Respect, honor, and reverence are the hallmarks of a true seeker, he who is seeking truth, she who is seeking truth. Ideals must be set. Reverence, honor, and devotion are very, very important. How do you show these? To whom do you show them? Where do you give them? How do you tell someone that you are honoring and reverencing , that you are devoted? How do you show it? See the one in the many, the many in the one. See and come to the realization that a thing in itself does not exist. Do whatever you are doing with the view that all is going to be blessed by your doing.
Bring happiness into the world. Every single day we should strive to make somebody happy. Not to make yourself happy, but to make someone else happy. Let that be a rule of life. If you have no one to make happy but you do have a cat, then buy it some catnip today. Everyday make someone happy. Start with those closest to you. Because they are the closest, they are the first, the stepping stone. Starting with those closest, go out from there. Make someone happy each and every day.
It is a beautiful rule to make people happy, to see the smile on their face, to see their eyes glitter and sparkle. It’s a great thing to see, especially when you make someone happy even though you do not like that person. What a great elation you feel! It’s a great challenge to do that. To make someone you like happy is easy, someone you get along with. But find someone who you don’t like, or someone you are having problems with and make that one happy. Find a way, and I’m sure you’ll find a ticklish spot in that person. Then the laughter starts, a change takes place. It takes a little doing, but you can do it.
When you make that human being whom you don’t like tum to like you, then you’re on top of the world. You can have anything, you can do anything. Try to make the one you despise happy, the one you don’t like and the one who doesn’t like you. Try it; you’ll get to like it, and then you will go hunting in this world to find every individual you really cannot stand. I’m doing it. I can find a lot of ugliness about a lot of people, but I’d rather not let it make me feel messed up. So what I do is I try to look at a person’s bright side. Everybody has a bright side. Start with that. It may be their smile or their walk. Find something you like about that sticky individual. Like it and it will grow.
There is more to like than not to like because we are existence, knowledge and bliss. Even that sticky individual is existence, knowledge and bliss. All this is brahman, the absolute. Everything is consciousness. Therefore, nothing is imperfect The imperfection lies only in our thinking.
As we think, so we act. In actuality, there are no imperfections. The imperfections that we do see are the perfections. They give us a purpose to create perfection. When you see an imperfect situation, you know you have a job lined up for you o do, something to make you perfect. It’s like a bed. When it is clean, nice, and straightened out, the sheets and pillows and such are in place. But when the bed is messed up, that messed up appearance gives you a purpose. You go and straighten it up. Once you’ve accomplished this you say, “Oh, how nice!” A satisfaction is felt.
Aim for that satisfaction everyday in people, in circumstance. There is plenty of mess around. Try to clean it up. If someone’s life is too hard, give that person a hand, help clean it up. If someone’s car is not working, help fix it. Bring laughter into that person’s life. Bring joy, give a little bit of your life to another. It is needed.
(The song Maha Deva is then sung.)
MAHADEVA*
Aum Sundaram
Maha Deva Sundaram
Aum , Namo Namo, Namo Namo
Maha Deva Sundaram
These mountains
These valleys
The earth below
The sky
The birds
The breath in me.
The waves of the ocean
The sound of the wind
They tell me its You
They tell me its You
They tell me its You.
These feelings
These senses
This heart of mine
The babies
The aged
The hungry
and the despised.
The sunrise in the morning
The dew on the grass
They tell me its You
They tell me its You
They tell me its You.
*Words and music copyright 1981 by Gurani Anjali.
Meditation Exercise
Please stand up.
Look at your feet.
Now sit down, very slowly.
Very slowly, get up again.
Watch your feet.
This is meditation in motion.
Very slowly sit down again.
Watch your feet.
(This repeated three times.)
Feel the motion.
Feel how every limb of your body is moving.
Feel the total body contact.
(The standing and sitting movement is repeated three more times.)
It is by doing this type of meditation
over and over again
that one begins
to acknowledge the reality of life.
(The motion is repeated three more times.)
Experience your whole body move.
This is meditation in motion.
(Three more repetitions.)
You can never see under your feet
Even if you lift up your feet
and try to look under them,
it does not work.
Why can you never see under your feet?
There is a reason for that.
It is like the top of your head.
You can never see your back.
Although you may look at another’s back
or you may look in a mirror, your back is forever hidden to you.
You can never see your eyes.
One part of you is anchored to the ground
The rest of you is away from the earth.
There is a middle part of you.
And then there is your head. It is up in space.
Then there is the middle part of your body.
And your feet.
Realize they are connected
Slowly sit down.
Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.